You've all heard them. There are so many negative stereotypes associated with being the wife of a military man. We're all catty and have nothing to do but sit around all day eating bon-bons and gossiping. We're overweight. We have way too many kids. We cheat on our husbands. We think we wear our husbands' ranks. The truth is though: a rare and "special" (that's a nice word for it, yes?) breed of military wives are all things listed above and more... but they give the rest of us a bad name.
I was recently turned on to a Facebook fan page for "non-conformist military wives" via a link on my news feed. I found myself understanding some of their "missions" and points, and at the same time feeling a tad disrespected. Don't get me wrong.. I am not the wife who "wears my husband's rank," nor do I devote every moment of my life to my husband. I believe in being independent of my husband in that I can make decisions on my own and take care of my entire household while he is gone without completely falling apart. In truth, I have spent more years of my marriage to R. alone than together due to deployments and training. I believe that women should have the freedom to choose what they want to do with their lives, without judgment or unfair treatment.. but I believe that needs to go both ways. If you want to go out and be a powerful career woman or on the front lines of the battlefield, you go girl! But if my choice to be a stay-at-home mom to my 2 (soon 3!) children fulfills me in the same way that your choice does, how is it wrong? I truly enjoy being a homemaker, and my "free time" allows me to volunteer in our community. Trust me when I say that being a stay-at-home mom, PTSA President, and Girl Scout Leader take up just as much of my time as a full-time job would, and they are just as stressful and taxing!
On the flip side of the feminism coin, I am also incredibly devoted to and proud of my husband, not just for "what he does" but for who he is. I LOVE being a military wife, despite a few complaints here and there during deployments (when the car breaks down, the kids get sick and I sprain my ankle.. all in the same week!!), but even more than that, I LOVE being HIS wife. We have been together since our freshman year of high school.. and we've beat all the odds. Every day I fall more and more in love with this man. He is humble, and caring, and hardworking. He understands the importance of family. He encourages me in every endeavor I dream up, and would do anything in the world to make me happy.
I know what you're thinking.. "If she is so independent, why is her blog about being a Seabee's wife?" Well.. the military is the BIGGEST part of our lives. Everything we do, and this goes for all military families- whether they want to admit it or not, revolves in some way around the military's timeline, customs and traditions. You can have your own life, get your own job, and spend as little time on your base as possible.. but when the military says "Its time to go!", you pack your things and you move right along with your husband.. that's just the way it is. There is a way to be "your own woman" without taking away the pride and importance of what your man chose to do! HOORAH!
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